Humphrey Hippo’s Night of Shame

Surfing the net the other day, I came across a wicked crochet pattern, courtesy of Bittersweet, and immediately I set to hooking myself my very own hippo called Humphrey. Only problem is it turn out that my little fellow is as naughty as her one, although I have my suspicions that these fellows have a tendency to adopt the vices of their creators with gusto, as I experienced when Humphrey and I hit the town together.

It all started well enough. Humphrey and I engaged in some high-brow conversation about existentialism and opera. Then he decided that he wanted some premium strength lager…


The way he wolfed it down, you would think he’d had a lifetime of hard drinking and he immediately demanded another drink. Keen to sample the fares of the pub, he decided upon a nice Merlot…


Again, down in one. But before I had time to warn him of the dangers of mixing his drinks, the inevitable happened…

At this point I was spent and ready to go home. But it appears Humphrey had other ideas and I found him propping up the bar, gulping a swift gin and tonic…


After this it really was time to go home, as he was getting somewhat embarassing as he tried to wow the ladies with his stories of swamp living. In the interests of preventing a mammoth hangover, I thought it was best to line his stomach, so took him to the kebab shop to make his selection…


Yet the little blighter still continued to be raucous and after insulting me one too many times (he really didn’t need to tell all the kebab shop that I’m a bottle blonde), I walked out. Humphrey thus found himself alone in the kebab shop, dazed and confused and wondering how the bloody hell he got there…

Approach making these buggers with caution!!!


5 responses to “Humphrey Hippo’s Night of Shame

  1. Humphrey is quite the party animal!

  2. Oh my, what a wild fellow you’ve got there! I absolutely love the story, and your hippo came out perfectly! Nice work!

  3. wow, your hippo is so funny! I really like crochet animals, they look always so well and carefully made! I tried to learn how to do it but I failed, needles are better for me ;P

  4. That’s hilarious! I had no idea such a sweet looking hippo could be such a scoundrel! I’m a little worried about what he keeps hidden in that cute grey bag of his.

  5. Thanks Jenny! Yes, he’s a proper tinker. In his bag is a gingerbread man and instructions on how he likes to be fed. John took him to work, and Humprhey was most concerned about his dietary needs.

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